what God already does

Hey folks,

I want to go back to Kristina’s earlier post which referenced the last two verses of Psalm 139. For a reminder, here they are:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me

and lead me in the way everlasting.

It is interesting to note that in the first part of that psalm, King David has already declared that God knows everything there is to know about him. God knows when David sits, when he stands. He knows his thoughts. Tells him where to stop and rest. God knows what David will say even before the words are spoken. There is nowhere David can be without God’s knowledge - and he considers God’s intimate understanding of who he is to be a blessing.

So, why does David ask God to do what he knows God already does?

Perhaps it is because no matter how confident David is in God, he does not trust himself. David knows his own heart and the depth of evil that resides there. This “man after God’s own heart” was a great king, a mighty warrior, a poet and musician, and a loyal friend. He was also a murderer and an adulterer.

The heart is a tricky thing. Jeremiah 17:9 calls the human heart deceitful and desperately wicked. I think David knew that. I think most of us know it, too. How suddenly and unexpectedly the heart can fail us. How quickly we can slip and fall. How treacherous the descent can be. How injurious our path can be to others.

Search me, O God, and know my heart... is an invitation for God to invade our lives, giving Him permission to bring light into even the darkest rooms we think we have locked away and hidden from view.

Test me and know my anxious thoughts... See if there is any offensive way in me... are the words of a servant whose only desire is to please his Master, not wanting to cause Him shame or embarrassment by words and actions made public or by thoughts and motives in private.

Lead me in the way everlasting... These are words of faith. I may not know God’s movement or where He is leading. But I know His heart, that He is good. That His every countless thought about me is precious.

For me, this is a difficult prayer. It opens me up to a vulnerability that I am not especially comfortable with. My careless words and thoughtless actions become more than just “my bad.” The end of my steps often show that I am selfish, headstrong, and petty. These words are difficult.

And yet, they offer us “true north.” Our lives - especially as artists, on public display - become distorted, out of focus. We think of ourselves too highly, too often, too long. These words bring us back into proper focus. We regain our path. We restate our allegiance.

This week, give thought to asking God to do what you already know He can do. Invite Him into your process. Allow Him to be before you, and behind. Be joyous that He knows where you will sit and where you will stand. Be encouraged that He knows what you will say before the words tumble out. Be strengthened by the knowledge that there is no place you can be that He is not. And be blessed by His intimate knowledge of who you are.

R